90115

Joke of the Day

"When life gave them lemons, the people at countrytime still decided to make artificial bullshit instead of actual lemonade."

"If a redneck was a pie, what flavour would it be? Pump-kin."

"How many conspiracy theorists does it take to screw in a light bulb? We may never know the truth."

"Whats the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? The picture of Jesus only needs one nail to hang up."

"According to my wife's diary, I have boundary issues."

"My wife called me a pedophile and a bigamist I thought those were some big words for a jealous six year old"

"I would rate my skill at psychic abilitys... medium."

"God: Women will bleed for a week. Universe: What will men do for pleasure at that time? God: *sigh* Fine. Mouths. But they'll talk. A lot."

"There's a school in my town so rough they have to check students for weapons at the gate. If you don't have one they give you one. Certified Dad quality joke. Tried it out on my kids this morning."

"10: Mom what's a metaphor? Me: My life is a train wreck. 10: I know Mom, but what is a metaphor?"