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Joke of the Day

"Horses are very contrarian... No matter what you ask them, all they say is ""neigh."""

"What do fish smoke? Seaweed."

"Sorry 2015, but I just got out of a year-long relationship with 2014 and I'm not looking for anything serious right now."

"Be careful in traffic with your pasta car... You wouldn't want it to get al dente."

"Give a pilgrim some corn... He eats for a day, teach a pilgrim to grow corn... He kills your people and takes your land."

"Don't break anybody's heart, they have only one........ Break their bones, they have 206."

"All the dads with weekend custody are crowding up the donut shop."

"I went to buy a Christmas tree today The cashier asked me, ""Will you be putting that up yourself?"" I reply, ""No you sick fuck I'll be putting it up in my living room!"""

"Why was George Washington buried on Mount Vernon? Because he was dead!"

"Man has sex with a can of beans. He was porkin' beans."