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Joke of the Day

"If you hit a car that is blaring Christmas music before Thanksgiving, it will deploy tinsel instead of airbags."

"SUPERHERO: I alienate my loved ones to protect them from danger ME: Me too, that's also my reason"

"I hate when people say ""women should stay in the kitchen"" ...how are they supposed to clean the rest of the house?"

"[hits you in the face with newspaper] ""Sorry, I thought your eyebrows were caterpillars."""

"My friend entered a poetry related pun contest. He stanza good chance."

"A seal walks into a bar... And the bartender says ""what will it be?"" The seal replies ""I'm fine with anything as long as it's not Canadian club."""

"My wife had the best Mother's Day I didn't ask her for sex, not even once."

"What do you call a Nun in a Wheelchair? Virgin Mobile."

"Did you know that chickens die after they have sex? Well.. at least the one I had sex with did."

"An Indian friend of mine used to hit his wife every night at 7.30... ..on the dot."