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Joke of the Day

"I hate when people say ""women should stay in the kitchen"" ...how are they supposed to clean the rest of the house?"

"Don't you hate it when spiders bite you and you get like zero superpowers?"

"Joke said by my little sister ""Why shouldn't you give Elsa a balloon?"" ""Why?"" ""Because she will let it go"""

"A kid asks his Dad ""what does 'gay' mean?"" The father says ""It means 'to be happy."" The son asks ""Are you gay?"" The father says ""No, son. I have a wife."""

"I just stopped at a yellow light to give myself a few extra seconds to craft this tweet."

"Interviewer: What would you say is your greatest strength? Me: Definitely my insecurities. Very strong."

"Did you hear about the woman who got caught with pot in her fake breasts? It was a huge drug bust"

"Why did the Hobbit put his phone on silent? Because he was bored of the rings!"

"I told my girlfriend I've known 3 whores in my life. The first one was named mercedes, the second one porsche, your name must be buick!"

"There was a four-car reck in Mexico today... 93 people died"