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Joke of the Day
"[hits you in the face with newspaper] ""Sorry, I thought your eyebrows were caterpillars."""
Next Joke
"Why aren't PhDs real doctors? Because real doctors have cures."
"""Hmm, how can I look at her boobs but not look at her boobs?"" - Guy who invented sunglasses."
"Nothing says ""I don't take you seriously"" like your dog wagging his tail when you are yelling at him."
"Dear ladies who wear black tights and red shoes: Please stop. Minnie Mouse is not a style icon for grown women. Love, M"
"Boss: Let's talk about the elephant in the room. Me: Not cool, dude. Jan's just pregnant. Him:.. Me: Jan if you report this I got your back."
"Harassment. So a teacher asks her students to use the word harassment in a sentence. A boy stood up and said, ""Ok this is easy. I met a beautiful girl one day and harassment a lot to me"""
"I've been a right-leaning man for most of my life Fuck scoliosis."
"Mother: Jared get your little sister's hat out of that puddle. Jared: I can't mum she's got it strapped too tight under her chin!"
"My son decided to help me clean the car today. After ten minutes of watching him, I told him to use some elbow grease. Two hours later, the idiot came back and told me that he couldn't find it."