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Joke of the Day

"I have to go to twitter for my news because the news is too busy showing me tweets."

"Pretty sure airport food was priced by children just learning about numbers. ""Ok Brian, how much should this apple cost?"" SIXTY TWO DOLLARS!"

"Programmer goes to a bar Bartender: What do you like to drink? Programmer: I'm only here for the foo.....................d"

"I doubt Vodka is the answer, but it's worth a shot"

"What's the highest rated hotel in the world? Aushwitz, 6 million stars."

"Roses are Red - Good poem for your ex's Roses are red. Your blood is too. You look like a monkey And belong in a zoo. Do not worry, I'll be there too. Not in the cage, But laughing at you."

"I've been reading the most interesting book on the history of superglue I just can't put it down ......"

"What I know about you has earned my attention. What I don't know about you is what makes you interesting."

"How do Rednecks celebrate Halloween? Pump kin!"

"DRAKE: I'll drop the best album of 2016. BEYONCE: Nah. DRAKE: The best album of... April? BEYONCE: Nah. DRAKE: Please don't do this to me."