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Joke of the Day

"Roses are Red - Good poem for your ex's Roses are red. Your blood is too. You look like a monkey And belong in a zoo. Do not worry, I'll be there too. Not in the cage, But laughing at you."

"The animals that like to be pet are the ones that feel the best to touch how dope is that"

"What is the bank manager's favourite type of football ? Fiver side !"

"Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff? TUH KEELLUHHH!!!"

"[I time travel and bring back Shakespeare] SHAKESPEARE: What's this? ME: That's a meme SHAKESPEARE: What the hell is wrong with you people"

"If anything is used to its full potential, it will break."

"Why did the Red sea not find a good husband? because she was too shallow."

"I don't think I could be a mom. Listening to another person cry all night just seems awful & I wouldn't want to impose that on a baby."

"Roy Hodgson has told the England squad that they'll have to tighten their belts next week. He also added that they should not remove them until the ""fasten seat belt"" sign goes out."

"Assistant: Uh sir? Your personalized jean jacket is very cool but it looks like the store screwed up. It says STAN on the back. Satan: WHAT"