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Joke of the Day

"If asked at a job interview ""what's your biggest weakness"", test their tolerance for honesty by replying ""mortality"""

"A group of chimpanzees walking out of a Banana Republic is called ""disappointed"" Except for Charlie there, who scored a nice sundress."

"A roman legionnaire walks into a bar holds up two fingers and says, ""Five beers, please."""

"Why did the drunkard ride the escalator To lift his spirits"

"On a scale of Casey Anthony to Jerry Sandusky ...how much do you love your children?"

"Don't touch my nutella with your banana."

"A guy came to my bar the other day and told me ""hey man I don't have much money, can you just give me your cheapest shot?"" . . I said ""Yeah, your ugly and your mom dresses you funny""."

"What do you call a fly when it retires? A flew. BUH DUM TSS! No? Alright.. I'll see myself out."

"Black Guy shot 15 times by the Alabama Police Worst case of suicide they had ever seen."

"What's one thing that always sticks up for you when you make bad decisions. A boner. Thank you very much."