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Joke of the Day

"A group of chimpanzees walking out of a Banana Republic is called ""disappointed"" Except for Charlie there, who scored a nice sundress."

"What do you call a Mexican with a vasectomy? A dry martinez."

"They say history is written by the winners... But actually, history is written by historians and most of them are losers."

"Did I ever tell you about the worst blowjob I ever had? It was FANTASTIC."

"Pay attention to all these women that are posting pictures with their mom's on Mother's Day because that is what they are going to look like!"

"Today I got chased by a thief trying to steal my wallet.. I managed to get away, but he definitely gave me a good run for my money!"

"Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was assalted."

"My family insists i am addicted to drinking brake fluid. But i can stop any time i want."

"5% of America thinks we're doing well. The other 95% thinks we could do gooder."

"I was about to tell a joke about sodium and hydrogen... ...but NaH"