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Joke of the Day
"A roman legionnaire walks into a bar holds up two fingers and says, ""Five beers, please."""
Next Joke
"What's the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman? One is a super hero. The other is a simple command."
"How a phone recall works. Samsung: Send us your exploding phone. Microsoft/Nokia: A software update will fix that. Apple: You are using it wrong."
"Testing, please ignore Test^(ing)"
"What's the difference between Donald Trump and a bag of shit? The bag."
"Scott Summers (X-Men) is dead.. ...by watching his navel. (I don't know if this joke works in English)"
"what do you get if you mix a dachsund with a cocker spaniel/ poodle mix? A cockadockapoo."
"If you're out of wallpaper, you can always resort to using a few rolls of duct tape for that nice silver look."
"Workin hard. Putting my nose to the grindstone. Grinding away that nose. Barely any nose left now. Whole face messed up. Due for a promotion"
"Who has time to monitor followers/unfollowers? I can barely keep track of my kids and I only have 1 of those. Wait. Two. I have 2 kids."