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Joke of the Day

"A brunette tells her blonde friend that she can finally say that she's slept with a Brazilian. The blonde looks shocked and says, ""OMG, how many is a Brazilian???"

"I showed my family facebook a few years ago, and haven't heard from them since. Best decision ever"

"What did Elon Musk get after his talk on colonizing Mars? Shit questions."

"dad: I AM VERY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU YOUNG MAN son: HI VERY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU YOUNG MAN IM GREG dad: omg [sheds a tear]"

"Imagine coming home from a long vacation and finding your bathroom towels are wet from just being used. I can do that to your ex if you want"

"My neighbour told me I'd left my lights on. I told her she'd left her big nose on."

"Who will win between Obama and Osama in chess? Osama, Obama is missing two towers."

"Why does a 6 oz hamburger have less energy than a 6 oz steak? Because the hamburger is in the ground state."

"What did the vampire say to her kids? Eat your dinner before it clots!"

"Why did so many jews die at Auschwitz? Because the exit doors were coin operated."