52020

Joke of the Day

"I know what I'm getting for Christmas. Fat. I'm getting fat."

"What do you call someone who breaks a plate and then apologizes? Dishrespectful..."

"Apparently it's 'inappropriate' to show up at your therapist's home to swim in her new pool even though your 'boundary issues' paid for it."

"My friend was being attacked by a duck I tried to warn him but it only made things worse."

"2 halloweens ago I was brutally owned by a small child when I answered my door in normal clothes and she said ""nice lumberjack costume."""

"Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic who stayed up all night debating the existence of Dog?"

"A joke for Europe A Greek, an Italian, and a Spaniard go into a bar and have an awesome time, ordering drinks till dawn. So who pays the tab? A German."

"My boyfriend called my skirt a petticoat and now he's paying bills using a quill on parchment paper wearing his wooden false teeth."

"How do you make a hormone? Refuse to pay."

"*opens dating site account* prepare to be dated you pieces of shit"