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Joke of the Day
"*opens dating site account* prepare to be dated you pieces of shit"
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"I never drop names but I frequently drop babies."
"Everyone lectures Americans about our politics.. We use our military to lecture the rest of the world's on theirs."
"Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock."
"Where does the pirate put his ear ring? In his buccaneer."
"I'm no cactus expert. But, I know a prick when I see one."
"I'll never join one of those dating sites. I prefer to meet someone the old fashioned way. By alcohol & bad decisions."
"What's a seal's favorite drink? Canadian Club on the rocks."
"I like my women like I like my coffee. I look at coffee but I am afraid to talk to it"
"A man with a marine biology fetish comes back from vacation. His friends greet him with a warm whale cum."