51986

Joke of the Day

"A guy goes to the doctor... The doctor says ""You have to stop masturbating."" The guy says ""Why?"" The doctor says ""...because I'm trying to take your blood pressure."""

"What do you call a gay guy in a coma? A tomato"

"What do you call a monkey terrorist? A Baboom!"

"I wish dreams were like Chatroulette and you could just click ""Next"" when you see a guy in a Mickey Mouse costume jerking off."

"I mistook the Facebook status box for Google search, and now I don't have to go to family functions any more."

"What's the difference between hungry and horny? Where you put the cucumber!"

"Helium walks into a bar The bartender says ""sorry we don't serve noble gases here."" The helium did not react"

"""You're a joulepersecond!"" ""Wat?"" ""Exactly."""

"Do you like pudding? Bill Cosby liked pudding his dick where it didn't belong."

"When somebody asks for directions I just say ""follow your heart"" and drive away."