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Joke of the Day

"What is a moo hoo for a delightful ranch owner? A charmer farmer!"

"Why did the cheerleader get kicked out on her last day of school?[x-post from /r/punny ] Because you can't end on a prep position."

"The get rich or die trying philosophy on life is going terribly one sided for me."

"I hope my search for my lost heroin... isn't in vein."

"I once dated a girl so my pet rock wouldn't be embarrassed after he threw himself at her window."

"I keep my herbs in alphabetical order. People ask me how I find the time. Easy! It's right next to the sage."

"Having kids isn't that bad, just don't have like the really young ones."

"I told my dog 6,000 times, she could go out but I wasn't going to sit outside with her... Long story short, I'm sitting outside with her."

"Probably the third-best reason to have kids is if you think it's funny when other people trip."

"Where do you go when you start up a videogame about Noodles? To the lo mein menu"