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Joke of the Day
"Why are Scientology and Proctology alike? It's all a load of shit."
Next Joke
"""I'm getting sick of eating airline food all the time."" Said the Malaysian shark."
"I thought I saw The Hamburglar on the street but it was just some other hamburglar"
"We wanted to bury our cat Ivy under our ivy but it was too thick to get through so we renamed it dumpster instead."
"Shakespeare could see the future. He knew people would listen to only two types of music. Doobie or not Doobie."
"Animal behavior can warn you when an earthquake is coming. Like the night before the last earthquake,our dog took the car keys and drove off"
"I hate it when I try to impress a date by taking her to a nice restaurant and she orders something that isn't on my coupon."
"My goal for 2017.... ....is to accomplish the goals of 2016 which I should have done in 2015 because I made a promise in 2014 and planned in 2013"
"Today I played dead with my 5yo nephew. He cried for 5 seconds, then grabbed my iPhone and run away."
"I painted my scanner black so it would run faster. Now it can't read."