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Joke of the Day

"A man walks into a Swedish chemist shop..... ... and asks for some deodorant. The shopkeeper says 'ball or aerosol?' The man answers 'neither, I want it for my armpits."

"Tips to reduce weight... First turn your head to the right and then to the left. Repeat this exercise whenever your offered something to eat!"

"Did you hear about the kid who slept through every class in school? He got all z's."

"I got a new pair of gloves today but they're both 'lefts' Which, on the one hand, is great"

"My friend and I were hiking Me: ""That's a huge rock over there!"" Him: ""Boulder."" Me: **""That's a huge rock over there.""** EDIT: Thank you guys for the most upvoted post I've made!"

"I don't think The Proclaimers realized how far 500 miles really is."

"I can always tell by their eyes if someone is a primary school teacher They have small pupils....."

"Did you hear about the preschool kidnapping? He woke up"

"The basketball shot clock was invented in 1954 after a player hid the ball under his shirt for 48 minutes and told everyone he was pregnant."

"The size of a woman's bag is directly proportional to how crazy she is."