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Joke of the Day

"Me *about to get hit by a bus* OH SHIT I'M NOT THE MAIN CHARACTER"

"My fridge should be called Kraft... cos it's full of sliced singles, individually wrapped in plastic."

"I bet Taylor Swift still believes in Santa Claus."

"Harry is a? Fucking WIZARD!"

"Have you heard about the new female doctor who can cure illness with all natural, homeopathic remedies? Look her up! She just goes by the name, ""Miss Information"" Edit: source - South Park"

"What do you get when you cross an ape and a black person?? A really stupid ape"

"Uncle Bill always gave 100% Son: How did he die Dad? Dad: He donated blood."

"Diner: What's wrong with these eggs I ordered? Waiter: Don't ask me. I only laid the table."

"Zayn leaving one direction is just like putting a fork into a sausage.. It leaves four little pricks."

"costumed new york mayor Rumor has it that for Halloween New York Mayor DeBlasio will be walking around on his knees and going as Mayor Bloomberg"