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Joke of the Day

"A grasshopper walks into a bar. Bartender looks up and shouts, ""Hey, we have a drink named after you!"" ""You have a drink called Steve?"""

Next Joke
 
"[Me at job interview] And, how seriously does your company take allegations of witchcraft?"
"Jeff is here! ""Jeff from work or Jeff the guy who announces his arrival anytime he enters a room"" Jeff is here!"
"My wife found out I was cheating... ... after she found the letters I was hiding. She got real mad and said that she'd never play Scrabble with me ever again."
"If you're gonna by me a drink..... You better at least push my stool in!"
"What's the difference between a boy scout and a Jew? The boy scout makes it back from camp."
"People always talk about starting families... But no one ever talks about finishing what they started."
"What has 72 teeth and holds back the hulk? My zipper."
"[At Mexican Restaurant] Me:asks for food to be spicy hot Waitress: how hot? Me: Waitress:my people hot or your people hot"
"So I was fucking my sister... ...and she stops me and says, ""Wow you fuck just like Dad."" I said, ""Yeah, that's what Mom tells me."""