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Joke of the Day

"Why did the neck bone explode? It was C4."

"Kids, you'll never know the pain of digging the innards of a loved cassette out of a cheap stereo and crying as you wind it up with a pencil"

"Publisher: Mike we can't accept your children's book. It's far too stupid for even the stupidest child. me: It was supposed to be for adults"

"Why does Yoda like sheep? Because dey go baa..."

"Knock knock ..."

"What's the difference between your child and your husband? At least you can leave your child alone with the babysit"

"I think my glasses make me look ugly... and so do my contacts"

"What do you call a Psychic Compromise? A Happy Medium. Sorry, a played around with the wording of this a lot and couldn't find anything better. Please suggest a better phrasing."

"I just heard an add on the radio stressing the importance of healthy muscles and it inspired me to bend my elbows more while eating cake."

"I was arrested for assault with a chicken. The cops suspected foul play."