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Joke of the Day

"3 Best Uses for Oven Timers: 1. Remind you of beer in the freezer 2. Pizza rolls 3. Notify guests when their time's up & they should leave"

"Why Does The Bride Wear White? So That The Dishwasher Matches The Fridge."

"What is the difference between a crazy bunny and a counterfeit banknote? One is bad money and the other is a mad bunny!"

"I've been that, done that, had that, lost that, needed that and felt that. Just a few of the many reasons why I always drink to ""that""."

"My brain is not equipped with facial or name recognition technology."

"The inventor of the Frisbee died yesterday. Per his final wishes, he'll be thrown onto the roof and forgotten about until next summer."

"My european friend Opee is opening up a restaurant where he claims to have the 'worlds best pizza'. His restaurant is in the middle of no where, but don't worry Opee Delivers"

"""Everyone give us money in case something happens and when something happens we'll call you a liar."" -insurance"

"What is stronger an elephant or a snail ? A snail because it carries it's house an elephant just carries its trunk !"

"I would tell a joke about my dick... but there isn't much to it.. :("