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Joke of the Day

"This year for Kwanzaa, I'm getting my roommate the traditional Kwanzaa toy. A Dr. Dreidel"

"What do you call the entrance you come through from hell to get into heaven? The Glory Hole"

"They should have cell phone chargers in waiting rooms instead of magazines."

"So I, (male) have a Girlfriend with a schoolgirl fantasy... The only problem is...I fell uncomfortable wearing the dress. Stole from the office. S3E21"

"I said ""sad face emoji"" instead of actually frowning today if you want to know how out of touch with reality I am."

"So doctor, do I have rabies? Doc: Short answer. Yes. Patient: What's the long answer? Doc: Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeessssssssssss."

"I was dating a midget but I had to break up with her. She never really grew on me."

"I forgot to go to my seminar on mindfulness"

"Whenever I see a celebrity photobomb, I'm like, that's so relatable. I too constantly ruin moments and think I'm more fun than I actually am"

"My Boss asked me to put two pieces of wood together... I nailed it! My friend Steve figured I would of screwed it up."