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Joke of the Day

"*sees oven left on ""What moron left the oven on!?"" *tries repeatedly to turn it off ""WTF!? Stupid oven!"" *realizes 425 is the time"

"[OC] Why can't an orchestra made of OB/GYN doctors ever get good enough to perform a concert? Because the C-section is always messy."

"[Breakup] Her: We're just different Him: How? Her: Well, you want to hike & camp Him: And? Her: And I want to be a cartoon on the internet"

"If you think my grey hair tells a story, you should see the unmarked graves in my back yard."

"When is a mass shooting not a mass shooting? When it involves energy, because energy had no mass."

"Why can't puns be explained to kleptomaniacs? Because they always take things literally"

"Did you hear about the marketplace where everything cost twelve and a half cents? It was a bit bazaar."

"I remember when I was young and dad used to play ""Got Your Nose"". It was far less traumatic than Uncle Carl's game of ""Got Your Weiner""."

"Women are just like computers... They are always freezing for no reason and you need to replace them about every 3-5 years."

"(Final maths exam) Q: what are the two small horizontal parallel lines? a) double negative b) equals c) eleven fell over"