163591

Joke of the Day

"Women are just like computers... They are always freezing for no reason and you need to replace them about every 3-5 years."

"Did you hear about the man who jumped in the Hudson River? He committed sewercide."

"A Limbo Champion Walks Into a Bar. He loses his title."

"What's the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist? One looks up the family tree and the other looks up the family bush."

"Ladies stop looking for a man to sweep you off your feet. Sweeping is your job."

"Did you know lotr could have come out a lot earlier? Only problem was no one knew what the writer was Tolkien about"

"Interviewer: Where do you want to be in 5 years? Me: Oh, it doesn't matter. You will have fired me well before then."

"Everyone can find one person or three cats waiting for him."

"[Zoo, bird show] ""Millions of years of evolution have made these ancient raptors into graceful sky gods."" *bird headbutts window 50 times*"

"If a tattoo artist... If a tattoo artist does an absolutely perfect tattoo on only one butt cheek, is that still considered a half-ass job?"