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Joke of the Day
"This girl just spilt ice all over my record player. I played it cool."
Next Joke
 
"What type of writing is the most profitable? A ransom note."
"""Dad!"" my shit says, right before I flush it."
"There are two words in life that will open a lot of doors for people Push and pull"
"What do you call stuffing an orifice with chilies? Jalapenetration."
"Who has the biggest ass in the Kardashian family? Kim. She has Kanye."
"One good way to prepare for marriage is to have someone come over and critique the way you load the dishwasher."
"Why did Joseph Goebbels own a pair of binoculars? For proper gander purposes."
"Hair pulling during sex is hot unless the whole wig comes off."
"It's raining. I'm going to be late for work. I can't fit my hair in the car."