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Joke of the Day

"Why did Joseph Goebbels own a pair of binoculars? For proper gander purposes."

"Some joke my dad told me a long time ago What's one profession that doctors, lawyers, even the king of Saudi Arabia and the presidents of the USSR and US bow their heads to? Barbers."

"Rihanna should date Lebron... he never beats anyone."

"An overweight woman decided to start walking her dog to get exercise... She stopped after realizing the effort it took to steer her scooter."

"What do you call a funny jar of mayonnaise? Lmayo!"

"Sometimes there's a huge disaster and lots of people die but it's ok because no celebrities got divorced."

"WIFE: this year, can you put the santa presents out for the kids christmas morning? GUY WHO NEVER FOUND OUT SANTA CLAUS ISN'T REAL: what"

"I started eating healthier recently. Instead of chicken wings alone I now drink beer with them, thus, preventing coking and prolonging life."

"How much for the soulmate? Ma'am, that's a bag of Doritos."

"I think we need to find faster means of travel across water. You catch my drift, mate?"