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Joke of the Day

"I always said I'd never chase after a man, but the older I get, I seriously consider power-walking after one."

"Where do alcoholics get their breakfast pastries? Drunken Donuts"

"If you say ""That reminds me of a good story,"" I automatically think ""This story's gonna suck."""

"Q: What do you call a drummer in a three piece suit? A: The defendant."

"If life gives you melons You might be dyslexic."

"Unless you're planning to lay there shirtless in an open casket, there really is no point to killing yourself with diet and exercise."

"Q: How do you make an idiot think he's a duck? A: Tell him he's a duck."

"A woman is like a well-served table at which a man looks one way before he eats and differently after he ate."

"How to fall down the stairs: Step 1 Step 2 Step 4 Step 7 Step 11"

"If you watch Jaws backwards, it's about a shark with gastritis that keeps throwing up people until they all have fun on the beach."