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Joke of the Day

"Why do we hate making up gay jokes? Because it's always a pain in the ass"

"I told my girlfriend she was drawing her eyebrows too high... She looked surprised."

"I was raping a woman the other night and she cried, ""Please, think of my children!"" Kinky bitch."

"A magician was walking down the street... ... and then he turned into a store."

"why doesn't mexico have an olympic team? because everybody that can run, swim or jump in in the united states..."

"The hardest part about having an ugly child is lying to them when they ask you if you love them."

"I'm concentrating so hard on trying not to eat a third cupcake that I literally can't do my job"

"If burglars broke into my apt, they'd look around, shake their heads and leave me some cash with a note that says 'get yourself some shit!'"

"What has four legs and says ""hoe de doe, hoe de doe""? Two black guys trying to catch an elevator."

"Me: ""Knock knock"" , Jesus: ""I'm not in!"" ... Me: ""Oh, come on."" Jesus: ""I refuse to open the door."""