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Joke of the Day

"I love you like a fat kid loves anything that will make him forget that his dad physically abuses him."

Next Joke
 
"Why are seals such homebodies? Because clubbing isn't any fun."
"Wife: My mom is watching our kids for the night. Me: Oh, baby. Do you know what we can do? *falls asleep at 7 p.m.*"
"A man asks a Canadian woman if she'd like to have sex... ...""Only if you plan to have some yourself."" Ah, Canada. America's [polite] hat."
"Neil deGrasse Tyson walks into a bar. Everyone leaves. ""EVERYONE?"" he chuckles to himself. ""7.4 billion humans couldn't fit in this space."""
"Live Laugh Love Qstn:Why was there dancing at the barbers'? And: 'Coz they just got 'beered' O.o"
"I just heard Bill is interested in Hillary again... She's barely legal..."
"Yo mamas pussy is so nasty... they make you eat it on Fear Factor."
"I set my alarm clock 15 minutes fast because I enjoy doing math problems first thing in the morning,"
"I'm not a doctor... so my understanding of Parkinsons is a little shaky."