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Joke of the Day

"Wife: My mom is watching our kids for the night. Me: Oh, baby. Do you know what we can do? *falls asleep at 7 p.m.*"

"Q: What's the difference between an Irish wedding, and an Irish funeral? A: One less drunk."

"Why does Kim Jong Un have an email? So he can eat all the spam."

"Make a last request!!"

"Which teachers care the most about their students? Math teachers, because every student counts."

"When I die I want my body to be donated to science ...but more specifically, a scientist who is working on bringing dead guys back to life."

"Why should I date you? Girl - Give me 1 good reason, why I should date you? Guy - I'll give you 69."

"Why should you always finish telling your jokes to David Carradine? He doesn't like to be left hanging."

"Fact Every 60 seconds in Ukraine a minute passes"

"Why are quantum physicists the kinkiest of all scientists? They have the ability to penetrate both holes at the same time. [explanation](http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double-slit_experiment)"