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Joke of the Day

"A man asks a Canadian woman if she'd like to have sex... ...""Only if you plan to have some yourself."" Ah, Canada. America's [polite] hat."

"Why can't watermelons get married? Because they cantaloupe!"

"What is a Jamaican's favorite video game? Smoke-a-mon"

"Looking back on Britain's 2016. The year most middle aged men went from wanting to fuck Nigella to wanting to fuck Nigel up."

"HEAD OF THE NATIONAL WEATHER SEVICE: so how will we name all these hurricanes? GARY, WHOS BEEN DIVORCED 31 TIMES: i have an idea"

"The only thing worse than a cold toilet seat is a warm one"

"If I could go back in time & change any event that would alter the course of history: I probably wouldn't have super sized that fry order."

"Q: What should you do if windows crashes cost you a lot of money? A: You should bill Gates."

"What disease do terrible parkers have? parkin'sins"

"If aliens are only on the quest for intelligent life, then Earth really has nothing to worry about."