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Joke of the Day
"What is a Hitman's favorite Mathematical Field? *Trigger*nometry"
Next Joke
"I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender."
"Hello, welcome to the evening news, where we're going to scare the shit out of you for 45 minutes, then weather & sports. Stay tuned."
"Hey, insurance companies instead of having a commercial on TV every 10 minutes can you just cover some of my medical bills?"
"When someone has a baby, I'm just like, OK, clearly you were desperate to have someone to hang out with"
"I would rather cuddle then have sex. If you are good with grammar you will get it."
"How to equally divide a cake among five people with only three cuts Slice three people with your knife and ask the last, ""Do you also want a piece?"""
"An essay is like a girl's skirt... It should be long enough to cover the important parts, but short enough to still be interesting."
"It's weird that America has never had a bald eagle president but Australia has had several kangaroo prime ministers (I assume)."
"I had a dream about a horse in a suit of armor. Pretty sure it was a knightmare."