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Joke of the Day

"An essay is like a girl's skirt... It should be long enough to cover the important parts, but short enough to still be interesting."

"If you walk into the bathroom an American and walk out an American, what are you in the bathroom? European."

"Why do suicide bombers have 72 virgins? one for each chunk."

"When it comes down to it, the most important thing you can do everyday is not die."

"Living in Russia... Living in Russia in the winter, you're already snowden."

"What did the pig say when he found a line of ants in his trough? ""Mmm. Canapes."""

"Did you hear about the old chameleon that couldn't change color? He had *a reptile dysfunction*."

"Why are people in wheelchairs always getting taken advantage of? Because they're easy to push around and never stand up for themselves"

"I've just wrecked myself. I wish I'd checked myself beforehand."

"All I did from 1984-1990 was try to shoot the laughing dog in Duck Hunt"