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Joke of the Day
"Do you know why astronomers named the planet ""Saturn?"" It just had a nice ring to it."
Next Joke
"The day I can't do my job drunk... Is the day I hang up my school bus keys."
"Since we're doing jokes in bad taste... What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic? Halfway."
"Lawyers' Ethical Dilemma When a client gives you two hundred dollar bills stuck together from the bank machine to pay a $100 bill, do you tell your law partner?"
"Four stages of my life: 1. Life is beautiful. 2. What is twitter? 3. Twitter is beautiful. 4. What is life?"
"Used way too much moisturizer and I may have to call in slick tomorrow."
"How do you keep an idiot waiting?"
"So, my feminist cousin is diabetic and recently, her legs were amputated... ...safe to say, she won't be jumping to conclusions anytime soon."
"With my wife it was sex, sex, sex... Yes, three times in 35 years"" -Bob Monkhouse"
"""Yeah, those black pants are okay. They just need a little something. Hang on.."" [rubs up against your leg] ""that's better"" -cats"