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Joke of the Day
"With my wife it was sex, sex, sex... Yes, three times in 35 years"" -Bob Monkhouse"
Next Joke
"People with a good sense of humor have a better sense of life."
"How do you ruin a joke? By explaining it. Because you know, jokes are supposed to be understood implicitly, without you having to say the reason behind why the punchline is funny."
"Did you hear about that free-range astrophysicist buffalo? His name was Neil. Neil da Grass-fed Bison."
"My neighbor, an elderly prostitute, adopted a puppy and asked me if I could help train it. I told her ""No sorry, you can't teach an old trick's new dog."""
"COP: ""Do you know why I pulled you over?"" ME: ""So it wouldn't be windy when we talked."""
"I bought some new shoes today from my dealer. The only problem is I don't know what she laced them with, and have been tripping all day."
"Just gonna wait to see how long it takes this police sketch artist to realize I'm describing him."
"Crazy ex-girlfriends are like a box of chocolates. They'll kill your dog."
"You always know when your girlfriend is too young for you, when you have to make the aeroplane noise when you stick your d*ck in her mouth!"