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Joke of the Day

"So, my feminist cousin is diabetic and recently, her legs were amputated... ...safe to say, she won't be jumping to conclusions anytime soon."

"I just got a Christmas card promising lots of anal and oral sex this year... I fucking hate prison."

"What is the most violent element of the periodic table? Ni, because Ni for an eye"

"The interesting thing about the Royal wedding is ... ..... exactly ...."

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot kill, the courage to blow up the things I can, and the wisdom to not get caught."

"I hold the U.S. indoor record for waiting in the house until my neighbors go back inside."

"A feminist got drunk at lunch, accused her boss of coming on to her, and slapped him in the face. She got loaded, triggered, and fired."

"Man, I sure love gravity It's really down to earth"

"Did you hear about the naked man who fell into an upholstery machine? He is fully recovered."

"I ate a banana so big that my Facebook relationship status automatically changed from ""Married"" to ""It's Complicated."""