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Joke of the Day

"The day I can't do my job drunk... Is the day I hang up my school bus keys."

"I would like to make a pun about philosophy,... ...but I Kant."

"A major yet unspoken difference between medieval times and now is... These days, if someone owns a sword, it's a pretty safe bet you can kick their ass."

"This may sound like a rape joke if you ask me oh wait, you don't"

"/r/jokes won't get this.. karma"

"Spent $200 on a Chinese hooker and was horny again an hour later"

"What's the difference between mathematicians and Syrian refugees? Mathematicians don't struggle with integration."

"A Welshman died at the weekend... Friends say he died the way he would have wanted; comfortably in his sheep"

"A pharmaceutical company in Canada is offering $47 billion to buy the company that makes Botox. People at Botox were pretty excited I mean, you should've seen the look that wasn't on their faces."

"What is Tom Brady's favorite opera? Deflatermaus! (Die Fledermaus!)"