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Joke of the Day

"WIFE: So, is Elon Musk an alien from another galaxy? ME: Nah, an alien would have a name made of random human sounds. Wait"

"Just about the time when you think you can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends."

"An egg and a sausage are frying in a pan... An egg and a sausage are frying in a pan. The egg turns to the sausage and says, ""It's getting hot in here!"", and the sausage replies ""Wow! A talking egg!"""

"A Doomsday Clock representing the dangers to humanity has symbolically been set to three minutes to midnight I guess you could say we are at... Threat Level Midnight"

"Playing as japan in a ww2 game You know I never really liked Japanese weaponry... there just not my type"

"If at first you don't succeed...."

"I was doing CPR on a co-worker for 5 minutes before someone told me that's just how she laughs"

"Nice tan. I'm guessing your mother is white & your father's a sweet potato?"

"I've been eating nothing but chicken for the past few days and I finally went to the bathroom. The stench was fowl."

"Ever hear about the Jesus Bomb? Red bull and merlot"