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Joke of the Day

"Dad tells his son to vacuum *hears son lazily vacuuming * dad:do it properly, if I wanted to hear loud noises but nothing being done I'd go to a feminist rally"

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"""GO SPORTS!"" -how I cheer for all sports"
"How does Moses make his coffee? He brews it"
"Having kids is like continually cleaning up after a huge party that you didn't attend."
"What type of truck takes a very long time to reach its destination? A log n truck."
"Apparently ""I don't like scary movies,"" is not an appropriate response to being asked to watch a wedding video."
"My brother has muscular dystrophy and we got into an argument about religion I told him his argument is just as valid as his legs.... Weak."
"a PS4 and XBOX One get shot the ambulance comes WII U WII U WII U"
"What do you call a Black Abortion Clinic? Crime Stoppers. I'm going to hell"
"Some people think vasectomies and castration are similar procedures but there's a vas deferens between the two."