112534

Joke of the Day

"Having kids is like continually cleaning up after a huge party that you didn't attend."

"Yeah, I lost to my computer at chess. But it turned out to be no match for me at kickboxing."

"Two tips for faster jogging: hot guy in front of you and creepy dude behind"

"A man gets his drill and drills a hole in a wall... ..its a bit boring."

"I've just found out I can have sex at 65 I live at number 59 so it's only a short walk!"

"If abortion is murder... wearing a condom must be kidnapping."

"Argon walks into a bar The bartender looks up angrily, yelling at him, ""Get out! We don't take stuck up snobs like you!"" Argon doesn't react."

"How do you summon a wizard taxi? CABRACADABRA!"

"[3rd grade] bae: come over me: no bae: my parents aren't home. me: but we're only 7, that's awful parenting. bae: but- me: AWFUL. PARENTING."

"Lionel Richie: I'm easy like Sunday morning Sunday morning: wow I'm right here"