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Joke of the Day

"Did you see the preview for the movie about premature ejaculation? It's coming soon."

"Every time I eat a cookie in bed, I imagine it screaming ""I'M GONNA CRUMB"" because I have something wrong with me"

"Procrastination is a lot like masturbation... It's all great until you realize you're just fucking yourself."

"If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door who do you let in first? - The dog. He'll shut up once you let him in."

"1. Tattoo ""I'M WATCHING YOU"" on your shaved head. 2. Grow hair and wait for daughter's boyfriend to come over. 3. Shave head in front of him"

"Accidentally ate the sticker on my apple. This wouldn't have happened if it had been a Snickers."

"Did you hear about the fly stuck on the toilet bowl? He got pissed off."

"How much does a Rabbi charge for circumcision? Nothing. He just keeps the tips."

"If a man and woman from Arkansas get a divorce... Are they still brother and sister?"

"When my wife asked me to stop being a flamingo... I had to put my foot down."