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Joke of the Day

"Procrastination is a lot like masturbation... It's all great until you realize you're just fucking yourself."

"What do you call a sleepwalking nun? A roamin' catholic."

"When a man falls off a boat you yell ""man over board!"" What do you yell when a woman falls of a boat? Full speed ahead"

"59 It's like a 69, but one person is in a wheelchair."

"Why would you pay $80 for a bra at Victoria's Secret when I can hold your boobs up all day for free."

"Report card day: The only day where double D's are a bad thing."

"I don't know why everyone loves blow jobs so much They taste soo shitty"

"What did the mentally handicapped kid get on his math test? Drool"

"The fact acceptance movement and the French Revolution are very similar. People losing their heads over eating cake."

"[Forest] GF: Oh god it's a bear! Me: *Stuffs socks down front of pants* GF: What are you doing? Me: Making myself look big Bear: Well hi"