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Joke of the Day

"Every time I eat a cookie in bed, I imagine it screaming ""I'M GONNA CRUMB"" because I have something wrong with me"

"I was just told that my dog chased someone on a bicycle and bit him. That's bullshit, my dog can't even ride a bicycle."

"""Stupid kid fell in the well again."" -if Lassie had been a cat"

"People used to laugh when I said I wanted to be a standup comic. Well, no one's laughing now. Wait."

"Unexpected sex that's a great way to wake up. If you are not in a prison..."

"3 great things about getting old and losing your memory 1. You're always making new friends. 2. Every joke you hear is new. 3. I uh, I forget the third one."

"Did you hear about the organic compound who became a bully? Mean ether."

"the greatest joke of all time. my life"

"What do you call an Irishman who can't hold his liquor? [OC] A quadriplegic."

"Have you heard about this? It's a pronoun used to identify a specific person or thing."