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Joke of the Day

"I have performance enhancing shrugs."

"[first day as a coroner] me: he died at 11:42AM detective: are you positive me: it's hard with all this death but i'm hanging in there"

"I met a girl with 12 nipples today ""Woo, sounds fun."" Dozen tit!"

"FINALS TIP: Create a reward system to help you study. For example, if you spend 1 hour studying, reward yourself with 72 hours of Netflix."

"I have kleptomania but when it gets bad, I take something for it."

"Countless marriages could be saved by requiring urinals in private residences."

"What's the difference between a baby and a freezer? a freezer doesn't scream when you put your meat in it"

"what do you call a chav in a box? innit."

"A person is sentenced to death by freezing It's justice."

"Why were the orphans thrown out of the restaunt Because it Was a family restraunt"