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Joke of the Day

"My doctor told me to examine my faeces every time I go to the toilet in order to monitor my health. But my bathroom is so dark, I can't see shit."

"Do all Europeans countries drive on the right? No, the Brits left."

"Several ducks were found dead in a playground. Police are suspecting fowl play."

"After seeing a picture on Reddit of the garbage near the Taj Mahal, I thought to myself ""Wow can there BE a bigger shithole?"" Then I saw the comments section"

"Q: Did you hear about the imaginary tree? A: It was mapleleaf."

"There was a masturbating contest ... ... I didn't win though, I came in second place."

"What did the photocopier say about its favorite purchased song? That's my pay-per jam."

"Hey girl , is the cosine of you positive? Cos you're acute angle."

"I time-travel quite frequently, ... I'd go to bed around midnight, and in few seconds I'd wake up to, lo and behold, 9 AM."

"A girl asked me for sex yesterday. I had to disappoint her. We had sex."