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Joke of the Day

"I went to the zoo yesterday and saw a baguette in a cage... The zookeeper told me it was bread in captivity."

"Why do people never eat clocks? Because it's really time consuming."

"What's blue and fucks grannies? Me in my lucky blue suit."

"What's an alcoholic's favorite book? Tequila mocking bird"

"What does Vincent say when he's annoyed at someone? Fuck Gogh"

"TIFU by trying to catch fog I mist"

"Why couldn't the Mexican go hunting? Because he didn't habanero!"

"Why is an aborted baby so hard to fool? Because It wasn't born yesterday."

"Sugar - Honey - Iced - Tea ... Guess what it means."

"[wife calls] did you write ""make all the traps from home alone"" on the calendar [me at hardware store holding paint cans and feathers] ""no"""