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Joke of the Day

"Bruce Jenner, substantiated proof... Women are worse drivers."

"Want to lose 10 pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head."

"Sometimes I stand in the shower for 10 minutes before I remember what I'm supposed to be doing. So, yes your secrets are safe with me."

"Whats the dumbest animal in the jungle? Polar bear"

"TIFU (NSFW?) TIFU by getting my face tattooed on my dick so when I send dick pics my face is in all of them."

"Other kids wanted to be astronauts or doctors, when I was little I wanted to be a horse calendar"

"I'm not all that concerned about Celine Dion's recent losses. I'm pretty sure her heart will go on."

"Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he never never lands!"

"Boy: Grandma do you know how to croak. Grandma: No I don't think so. Why? Boy: Because Daddy says he'll be a rich man when you do."

"A charity single has been released in aid of Pakistan flood relief... Raindrops keep falling on Ahmed."