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Joke of the Day

"What do you do when a scientist dies? You barium! ba-dum-tss"

"A man went to a fish and chip lunch organised by the local monastery... He strolls up to one guy serving, and with a big grin, asks ""Are you the fish friar?"" The guy responds ""No, I'm the chip monk!"""

"My work email inbox has grown so wild and unruly that everytime I open it, it plays its own 70s porn theme."

"I am not sure NSFW should apply here, because I am not convinced any one on twitter actually fucking works."

"Did you hear Vladimir Putin made a travel sized Russia? It is the perfect country to Putin your pocket."

"""I"" before ""E"" except after ""Old MacDonald had a farm"""

"a bunch of people at a school dance waiting to get a drink that's it. that's the punch line"

"Q. What do you have when only one line dancer comes to your party? A. A One Liner!"

"What are the people from the country Lesbia called? Lesbians"

"If I ever commit suicide, I wanna jump off a cliff w/an open umbrella so people wonder if I thought it would bring me safely to the ground."