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Joke of the Day

"A construction worker asked me to make a joke about the contents of his toolbox. Unfortunately, I don't have any drill bits."

"Yeah you ladies like bad boys, right? Haha well let me tell you, ladies,, I am bad at basically everything, ;)"

"Where can you get away with rape? Any school for the deaf"

"""I need to find somewhere to park,"" I told my wife. ""What about over there?"" she said. ""I can't,"" I replied, ""It says between 1 and 9 only."" ""Well, why is that stopping you?"" ""I'm 23."""

"What does the base-jumping gardener say? GERANIUM!"

"What did one ocean say to the other? I'm not completely shore, but it must have been pretty deep."

"Don't ever believe anything an atom says. They make up everything."

"I once thought about becoming a proctologist... but I can't imagine spending my entire workday dealing with assholes."

"I tried to sign up to a website yesterday. I put in the password 'beefstew' But it said the password wasn't stroganoff."

"It's late and I'm wondering what my high school girlfriend is doing now. I'd call her but I know she has a big algebra test tomorrow."