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Joke of the Day

"Hear about the first Polish Olympic gold medalist? He was so proud, he had his medal bronzed."

"[pharmacy] ""Can I help you?"" Yeah, could you recommend anything over the counter for this? *lifts shirt to reveal 7 fresh gunshot wounds*"

"for several hours a day, we are just an arrow floating on a screen"

"What do the weather in England and a Muslim have in common? It's either Sunni or Shiite."

"What did the river say when coal barges stopped?"

"What do you do when you meet a robotic genie? You mech a wish."

"If you could eliminate one entire race off of the face of the planet, which would you choose? the 5k fun run, or the 100 meter dash?"

"I believe: - I can fly. - Children are the future. - Knowledge is power. - I will use my powers to defeat the future children."

"I was at an ATM and this old lady asked me to help check her balance, so I pushed her over."

"Pissed there isn't a superhero in my town called 'The Human Bee'. That jumps out of trees with a knife in his ass."